entries

It's going to be 9 soon and Im barely close to even studying half of ss... Well because my mood was ruined, today was a rainy day
It rained for long and for some weird reason, everything just seemed wrong to me
I thought back on the people who appeared in my life and probably... Left?
I remembered my primary school friends... Saying of that i saw one of them few days ago. We looked at each other but we couldn't say hi. Ok maybe because we aren't close afterall
I still do see a lot of them on the streets... Even if they don't remember me, I still smile at them and say it's okay
I do miss them a lot
I remembered all of their names
I'm glad that some of them still remember me
I guess I did change a lot

I thought about my past. My.... Ugly past
I never want to talk about it
Even I felt disgusted by what happened back then
But it's okay now
These things are out of my hands and I'll never ever touch and do them again
My past, they aren't nice things to be remembered...

I stopped hating
To be honest, I couldn't stand my family. Every 3 of them. I was irritated by all of their actions and I do know of some fucking ugly secrets I wished I didn't have known.... 3 years and never had I once mentioned it
I caught you red handed, but I didn't step up to say
Even after seeing it many times, I closed both of my eyes and take it as really nothing happened
But sometimes I couldn't stand it. I don't understand why did you do that
However we accepted it
Till the state it seems transparent
Its okay. My family will be my family. No matter what, I will accept you for whoever you are. If that makes you happy then let it be. I won't say another word and I'll bring the knowing of this secret into my grave. I do love my family and I'll be loyal to them always

My aunt that passed away
I then realized how vulnerable life was. It was hard to accept the fact that you've been gone from our lives for 2 years
A week ago, I opened up the photobook and saw a picture of us and few others
I was happy, we did have a picture together and at least, I still hold memories of you

I had watched a film and a drama which made me felt like death was cornering us all the time
It never left us, sooner or later we'll leave
It's just a matter of time, but why am I thinking about this when Im even barely 15 yrs old?
Yes, I have much more to look forward in my life

I'll never give up and I never will....... I feel sorry for the people who attempts suicide.. I believe no one deserves to leave the world in such a way
No one should be leaving the world this way

I love this space, it's been with me for 4 years now.... I love you

It's going to be 9 soon and Im barely close to even studying half of ss... Well because my mood was ruined, today was a rainy day
It rained for long and for some weird reason, everything just seemed wrong to me
I thought back on the people who appeared in my life and probably... Left?
I remembered my primary school friends... Saying of that i saw one of them few days ago. We looked at each other but we couldn't say hi. Ok maybe because we aren't close afterall
I still do see a lot of them on the streets... Even if they don't remember me, I still smile at them and say it's okay
I do miss them a lot
I remembered all of their names
I'm glad that some of them still remember me
I guess I did change a lot

I thought about my past. My.... Ugly past
I never want to talk about it
Even I felt disgusted by what happened back then
But it's okay now
These things are out of my hands and I'll never ever touch and do them again
My past, they aren't nice things to be remembered...

I stopped hating
To be honest, I couldn't stand my family. Every 3 of them. I was irritated by all of their actions and I do know of some fucking ugly secrets I wished I didn't have known.... 3 years and never had I once mentioned it
I caught you red handed, but I didn't step up to say
Even after seeing it many times, I closed both of my eyes and take it as really nothing happened
But sometimes I couldn't stand it. I don't understand why did you do that
However we accepted it
Till the state it seems transparent
Its okay. My family will be my family. No matter what, I will accept you for whoever you are. If that makes you happy then let it be. I won't say another word and I'll bring the knowing of this secret into my grave. I do love my family and I'll be loyal to them always

My aunt that passed away
I then realized how vulnerable life was. It was hard to accept the fact that you've been gone from our lives for 2 years
A week ago, I opened up the photobook and saw a picture of us and few others
I was happy, we did have a picture together and at least, I still hold memories of you

I had watched a film and a drama which made me felt like death was cornering us all the time
It never left us, sooner or later we'll leave
It's just a matter of time, but why am I thinking about this when Im even barely 15 yrs old?
Yes, I have much more to look forward in my life

I'll never give up and I never will....... I feel sorry for the people who attempts suicide.. I believe no one deserves to leave the world in such a way
No one should be leaving the world this way

I love this space, it's been with me for 4 years now.... I love you